Ask Kyle
by ThePurpleNinja
Summary: Ask Kyle questions! Kyle's side of Ask Cartman- The Coolest Guy on the Internet. Rated T for mature language. SEND QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGING.
1. Hello Cartman!

Hey everyone, Kyle Broflovski here. I hear your still asking the fat ass questions. Why would you? Stupid dick always responds with something about "Jews" or "Gingers" and god damn "Nazis."

So, ask me the questions instead!

That's right Cartman, thought I wouldn't do anything about you making fun of me on here? Also for being a bitch toward Stan, Kenny, and Butters? I mean for fucks sake, Butters was just trying to help you out you fat bastard!

I mean seriously, what the fuck?! Who the hell do you think you are? I swear you only hate gingers because I'm 'part ginger' or whatever that big anti-ginger thing was about. Remember it? WE DYED YOUR HAIR AND YOU BECAME A LITTLE PUSSY AS SOON AS WE TOLD YOU YOU WEREN'T REALLY GINGER?

Also the time you told me you saw what being Jewish was like? Pretended that didn't happen next day. For Gods sake Cartman, GET A FUCKING LIFE YOU FAT FUCK!

Anyways, I'm here to answer to answer your questions about me, my life, or whatever else you guys dream up.

Let's see some questions!

**Send Kyle Messages through PM. (Private Messaging)**


	2. Revenge!

Cartman still hasn't seemed to noticed this yet. Stan thinks it's because he only ever focuses on himself. What a dumb ass.

Weapon Frayer, awesome username by the way, asks,

_Hey Kyle. have you ever got major revenge on Cartman (eg; Facebook hacking, total revenge), or anything extreme, like Scoot Tenorman off-the-end scheme?_

Cartman once said there was something called 'Jewbacca' that fed on Non-Jews. He basically tricked a whole shit load of people, and got himself put outside, chained to a cinder block, in a bunny suit, covered in some sort of sauce.

He kept asking me to do something, the little pussy was so afraid he began believing Jewbacca, and cried. I left him there while he freaked the hell out.

I did get him in the middle of the night and put him back in his bed, but he thinks Jewbacca spared him. He told me he was sorry for being a bitch and understood jews better. So I suppose that was just a pretty funny revenge.

Believe me, I'd love to hack his account. I probably could, but I'll save that idea for later.

I did send him to Somalia to get killed by 'pirates' once. That revenge was a kind of the Scoot Tenorman scheme, although it did backfire. Thank God too, because he took Ike.

Thanks for the question Weapon Frayer.

Who's next?

**Kyle would like to remind you to ask him questions via private messaging.**


	3. Kyman? Hell No!

Hey people, Kyle back with another question to answer!

This question is from Estella Tweak. Wow, that username is totally not creepy. Estella Tweak asks,

Hello Kyle *waves* I have 2 questiona for you to answer! 1) when you and Cartman dont fight & you hang out with Stan & Kenny do you like to play tricks on people like Tweek Tweak? 2) how do you feel when people ((like me)) pair you with Cartman? Kyman FOREVAH!

Well thats all! Goodbye! *gay rainbows and sparkles appear*

Sometimes when I'm bored as hell, it's funny to prank Tweak and see him go all twitching. I don't do it much, but Stan and Kenny enjoy it.

Oh fuck. Kyman? God fucking damnit, what is with fans and Kyman?  
When people pair Cartman with me I get seriously pissed off. I mean, like so pissed off I want to do something so bad that I really shouldn't say.

Like kill Kyman people.

I'm not a gay ass fag! What the fuck guys? Really?  
That is the only thing Cartman and I agree on, is you twisted bastards making us fuck each other.

God damnit.

**This is what Kyle says, not me. He also says to message him via private messaging.**


	4. No Style!

Hey guys! Guess what? I sent Cartman a letter that said he was Jewish. Should have seen his face. The stamp looked so real and everything!

This next question is from xStylennybutmanx, what the fuck is with your username. Stylenny asks,

_I have some questions for Kylleeeeee:_

_Kyle, I do like you a lot, but I also like cartman, stan and Kenny too. I like everyone ;)_

_OK here are some questions for ya Kyle;_

_1) Please don't lie to me, Do you have a crush on Stan? I know you both are super best friends, but Stan doesn't spend his time with his girlfriend Wendy - he has always spent his time with you instead of Wendy, but why is that? I know you are not a gay, alright so don't worry. But Stan might be a gay ...? I am not mean I swear. I just asked you this question that's all._

_2) Why is your mum overprotective?_

_3) Why did you try to save Cartman from drowning (From MeanBearPig Episode) even though you hated (hate) him so much?_

_I hope you are not offended by this - sorry Kyle :(!_

_I also hope you would hack into ** facebook account and ruin his life :)_

_Bye for now! xxx_

No I don't have a damn crush on Stan! How the fuck am I supposed to know whether Stan's gay or not? Yeah we hang out a lot, but that's what friends do. I guess Stan doesn't hang out with Wendy much because she is a bitch. Hold on, let me ask.

…

Stan says, "_She breaks up with me every other week_." Well, there's your answer! Wendy is indeed a bitch!

My mom is overprotective because she loves me. Mothers love their kids, known fact. Sometimes it gets in the fucking way, but it's nice to know someone is out there for you.

I saved Cartman from drowning because when he dies, I want it to be because of me. Not because of some god damn accident!

Finally, you know what? I will hack his account. So many of you want it. Fat ass is getting hacked tonight!

**Kyle will hack you if you don't send questions through private message.**


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